NFL conspiracy theory

Dear friends and colleagues,

from extensive research and analysis I regret to have to inform you that I have gleaned there is a conspiracy afoot in the NFL.

The conspiracy entails a concerted effort to misinform fans about what type of players are required to succeed in the NFL, it entails the stupification of spectators through elaborate schemes strategically employed to have players either in position or out of position to make plays, it entails blackmailing coaches and front offices to play a preselected group of players through positioning them on Fantasy and Madden rosters.  In short, some teams are preparing to pounce on and take advantage of these false realities.


1.  The scouts and online reporters are fudging facts to get the wrong kind of player at each position.  The highly hyped defensive end/outside linebacker hybrid, will leave teams vulnerable to horizontal plays.  He will get dominated on run plays, because he´s too small, so outside containment against either speedy runningbacks, or runningbacks with lead blockers, is nonexistent.  And as outside linebackers they are simply too slow to cover the flats or beat speedsters outside.  The cornerbacks are too small, they are useless in run support, and physical receivers will dominate them.  Linebackers overall are too big and too slow, if they get beaten by big backs the defensive backs will get run over, and if they get beaten by fast backs they will look ridiculous.  That´s the defensive foolery.

On offense, we have the very unrealistic single back formation.  What will defenses do if they are suddenly confronted with multiple backs, sweeps and reverses, potent lead blocking.  To send a halfback without the help of a blocking fullback would have been preposterous in the past.  A guy like Barry Sanders, sure.  But 260 pound Jamal Lewis as a single back, come on how realistic is that?  It´s gotten absolutely ridiculous.  6foot6 offensive guards.  The quarterback can barely see over them, they´re not mobile enough in run blocking, they can´t pull, and believe it or not they have a high center of gravity, they are easier to unbalance.  Offensive lines lining up at the outset of a play in a V-formation, standing up already, with barely an inch between their feet.  It´s a precollapsed line, to try to rush the quarterback on defense is impossible, these guys are already bracing for impact and it´s an impossible angle, you can not get by them.  On offense the quarterback is absolutely predictable, he can´t even scramble, he´s caught in the pocket.  In the olden days that would have been laughed at, because it´s taking telegraphing a play to a whole new level.  They keep that formation even on running plays.  What it means is the holes are a lot smaller because the line is slanted, if they get through the hole they haven´t even passed the line of scrimmage yet, the offensive line is so far off.  The offensive tackles can´t bear down and get their feet moving, because they are standing up waiting for impact before they can even initiate run blocking.  The first team to realign the offensive line, right up on the line of scrimmage, not telegraphing run or pass, with a chance at giving the runningback 5 holes to run through, with a quarterback who is mobile and has split seconds to decide handing off, scrambling or passing, or a mix thereof, the first team to institute some lead blocking, with a shifty halfback with enough patience to follow that blocking and then break free, is going to look like geniuses.  Pounding the middle and stretching the field horizontally, through powerfull end around plays and a quick and effective short passing game, will look like it´s never been done before.  So I assume there are some teams and interest groups preparing for a Super Bowl run by exploiting all this, they have the neccessary guys on their depth charts.

2.  Playcalling.  It is assumed that football has become this rocket science, and you have all these evil geniuses, conveniently termed offensive and defensive coordinators, like a real football player needs to be coordinated from outside (are there like walls and traps not visible to them on the field?), that can somehow magically make superior athleticism and sportsmanship irrelevant, through ingenious formations and outscheming the opponent.  It is assumed that a defense has a limited set of plays (since when did it become fashionable to even say a defense has plays, like they are inititator and not the reactor) to counter an offenses limited set of plays.  It is feasible that a certain player can be out of position on a certain play, because the defensive schematic called for it.  How ridiculous is this?  If I see a play evolving as a defensive player and I can get there, no force on earth can compell me to run away from it.  Defense is defense no matter what the offense can concoct.  If the defenders do what they do, and are where they are even the combined Nobel prize winners can not beat it.  Let´s stop fooling ourselves.  Players enabled to defend an area, and with a maximum of decisionability, will not be out of position, and they will make the play, no matter how elaborate the offense is.  On the other side of the ball, you need the same type of adaptability.  If I´m a receiver and a certain route is covered, I can alter it, stretch my route, shorten it, cut earlier or later.  If I´m the runningback, and the 2 hole is seeled, I hit the 4 hole or race to the sideline.  If I´m the quarterback and a pass play breaks down, do I gun it or run it?

3.  Maddenized and Fantasized rosters.  I play the best available athelete and sportster, whether the kids are cursing because they´re not on Madden, or whether people stupid enough to bet on football in fantasy circles are blacklisting me, because they´re high draft pick is suddenly not even playing.  These are outside factors, I do not heed them at any price.  My depth chart is not the glee club, and popularity contests will not win you football games.  Even a thousand number 16 jerseys in the stands will not give wings to Joshua Cribbs.

All in all, these developments lead me to assume there is an elaborate deepseated plot to fool teams into wanting what will make them vulnerable and beatable, by teams willing to buck the trends.

Are we trendsetters or trendgetters?

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