Captain of the Tailgate: Enemy Encounters

Ah, I basically posted this in the first tailgate edition.

I have always considered tailgating areas to be sacred ground. It is the one place you should be able to go to celebrate and socialize with others that love your team. There are plenty of places to trash talk and fight, but a tailgate area should be respected by the opposing fans. Since I have been relocated by my job to Pittsburgh, I make it a point to stay out of their tailgate spots. Not because I’m afraid, it’s because I’m not a hypocrite and they don’t belong anywhere near my tailgates when I travel back home. It gets annoying trying to party and listen to trash at the same time. Inner city Browns fans, however deal with opposing fans tail gate crashing differently than our suburb conterparts, fist in face!

The scene: Candlestick Park September 21, 2003. Before the game, our little representation of the Cleveland/Akron diaspora gathered in the parking lot drinking beer, throwing a football around, eating sandwiches that our girlfriends (none of whom were from Ohio and had no interest in watching a Browns game) made us and generally being pretty tame. A group of, how shall I say this eloquently, white kids who wanted us to think that they were from the projects in East Oakland or Hunters Point continually were yelling at us, taking trash about the Browns colors and just being general jack asses. As a group of professionals who really don’t want to mix it up with Eminem wannabes, we naturally ignore them and head into the stadium.

The best/worst thing happened that day: the Browns came back in the final minute to beat the 49ers 13-12 (this is when memories of a dominant Niner team were still semi-fresh). As we walk back to our cars, happy of course and laughing amongst ourselves but not being the least bit obnoxious, we run into the pale gangsters. One guy, all 5-6 of him, starts following us very closely and my buddy from Stow tells him to get lost. Little guy punches my buddy in the back of the head and all hell breaks loose. I catch a glancing cheap shot off my forehead and another dude tries to tackle me (I was like Cribbs and threw him off). We are surrounded by angry 49er fans who think that WE initiated the melee and it is about to get ugly. Luckily we were rescued by a couple REAL gangster types who had parked nearby and saw the whole thing unfold both before and after the game.

Unfortunately, before that happened, the ONE guy with our crew NOT from Ohio gets knocked out and has his nose broken. He is not a Browns fan and never will be after that day . . .

Unfortunately, before that happened, the ONE guy with our crew NOT from Ohio gets knocked out and has his nose broken. He is not a Browns fan and never will be after that day . . .

Wow, way to make real Browns fans look weak. Tsk, tsk.

A friend of mine is a Redskins fan and has season tickets, despite living 3 1/2 hours away from there. He invited me to the Browns-Skins game in 2008, so naturally I accepted. I wasn’t really over the top, had on a Browns sweatshirt and hat, but I still got noticed. Someone about 4 rows above us threw an entire beer at me, but thankfully it was a Heath Shuler-esque throw and missed me by 4 or 5 feet.

After the 1st quarter, I had to “visit the facilities” as I had a few beverages prior to the game. while in the restroom, there were a few other Browns fans and about 30 Redskins fans. While one Browns fan was at the urinal, a drunken, obnoxious Skins fan was standing about a foot away from him, pointing in his face, swearing at him and talking trash. While the Browns fan is trying to piss. That was one of the more ridiculous and classless things I’ve seen at a sporting event, and I’ve been to many of them.