Summary: Simms’ Unsullied remains undefeated against Stig-o-sauruseseses despite a big game from Tony Gonzalez.
Game High Points: Tony Gonzalez 26.9 (Stig-o-sauruseseses)
Most Disappointing Performance: Stevie Johnson scored -0.1 points for Stig-o-sauruseseses.
Notables: Stig-o-sauruseseses had Marques Colston score 9.6 points from the bench, but it wouldn’t have been enough. Simms’ Unsullied didn’t leave any points on the bench.
2 Optimist Prime (The Licensed Optimist) 125.92 vs 8 Brownie the Elf (emily522) 93.80
Game High Points: Drew Brees 32.72 (Optimist Prime)
Surprise of the Game: Demaryius Thomas (20.6 pts) and Ind Def (23.0 pts) blew away their projections for Optimist Prime.
Most Disappointing Performance: Ray Rice only scored 1.7 points for Brownie the Elf.
Notables: Both teams left a few points on their bench, but no where near enough to impact the final outcome in any way.
3 Inconcievable (Gabe Durrant) 109.38 vs 11 TWB Gets Laid (Ted Washington’s Belly) 103.16
Game High Points: Jay Cutler 20.58 (Inconcievable)
Surprise of the Game: Reggie Wayne had his best game so far this season, notching 16.0 points for TWB Gets Laid.
Notables: Both teams left points on the bench this week with Antonio Brown (9.8 pts, Inconcievable), Roy Helu Jr (14.4 pts, Inconcievable), and Stevan Ridley (7.9 pts, TWB Gets Laid) all outscoring their starting counterparts.
4 Now I’m Done (StuckInPa) 119.68 vs 10 Tucks Gong Shows (TuckJob) 141.98
Game High Points: Peyton Manning 29.08 (Now I’m Done)
Surprise of the Game: Le’Veon Bell scored 20.4 points in his first NFL game for Now I’m Done.
Notables: Tucks Gong Shows could have extended his lead further had he not benched Darren Sproles (24.2 pts). There was only one starting player on Tucks Gong Shows’ team that failed to reach double digit points this week.
5 Kosar for President (Weeden2Gordon) 111.74 vs 12 Weeden Cough Syrup (SpecialBrownie) 67.98
Summary: Kosar for President crushes Weeden Cough Syrup in the biggest blowout of the week.
Game High Points: Torrey Smith 22.6 (Kosar for President)
Surprise of the Game: Torrey Smith’s 22.6 points more than doubled his projection for this week.
Notables: Between bye’s and injuries there were virtually no points left on either team’s bench this week.
7 Badass Honey Badgers (Aussie Brown) 83.94 vs 9 130lbs of Kosar (Brownie’s Year) 84.08
Summary: 130lbs of Kosar squeaks out a 0.14 point win in the closest game of the week.
Game High Points: Matt Ryan 23.84 (Badass Honey Badgers)
Surprise of the Game: Antonio Gates (Badass Honey Badgers) went off for 19.6 points.
Notables: Despite having the game high points Matt Ryan was outscored by Philip Rivers who was on Badass Honey Badgers’ bench, along with Danny Woodhead (20.6 pts). 130lbs of Kosar had two QBs on his bench that outscored his starter this week.
1 4-0 Simms’ Unsullied
2 3-1 Optimist Prime
3 3-1 Inconcievable
4 2-2 Now I’m Done
5 2-2 Kosar for President
6 2-2 Stig-o-sauruseseses
7 2-2 Badass Honey Badgers
8 2-2 Brownie the Elf
9 2-2 130lbs of Kosar
10 1-3 Tucks Gong Shows
11 1-3 TWB Gets Laid
12 0-4 Weeden Cough Syrup
Week 5 Matchups (Rank, Team, Yahoo projection*)
1 Simms’ Unsullied (61.78) vs 9 130lbs of Kosar (77.53)
2 Optimist Prime (84.13) vs 6 Stig-o-sauruseseses (88.56)
3 Inconcievable (66.52) vs 12 Weeden Cough Syrup (96.15)
4 Now I’m Done (70.50) vs 8 Brownie the Elf (93.37)
5 Kosar for President (105.95) vs 7 Badass Honey Badgers (88.55)
10 Tucks Gong Shows (97.77) vs 11 TWB Gets Laid (88.91)
*Projected points as of the writing of this page.