Week 7 UDBNFL Review

1 Simms’ Unsullied (Jon Stinchcomb) 92.20 vs 11 Inconcievable (Gabe Durrant) 76.52

Summary: Aaron Rodgers and Eddie Lacy carried Simms’ Unsullied to victory over Inconcievable and the injured Jay Cutler.

Game High Points: Aaron Rodgers 23.6 (Simms’ Unsullied)

Surprise of the Game: Eddie Lacy had a strong 16.8 point performance against the Browns run defense for Simms’ Unsullied while Eddie Royal returned to his early season form with 12.9 points for Inconcievable.

Most Disappointing Performance: Jay Cutler (0.12 pts, Inconcievable) and Doug Martin (5.4 pts, Simms’ Unsullied) failed to meet their projections due to injury. Victor Cruz (5.0 pts, Simms’ Unsullied) simply underperformed.

Notables: Cam Newton (14.76 pts) was on Inconcievable’s bench, but it’s impossible to predict injuries. More importantly, Inconcievable left Roy Helu on the bench, where he scored 22.6 points.


2 Badass Honey Badgers (Aussie Brown) 116.50 vs 12 Tucks Gong Shows (TuckJob) 108.66

Summary: Badass Honey Badgers moves into second place with a victory of Tucks Gong Shows.

Game High Points: Vincent Jackson 25.8 (Badass Honey Badgers)

Surprise of the Game: Harry Douglas (20.9 pts) and Car Def (20.0 pts) had strong games for Tucks Gong Shows.

Most Disappointing Performance: Antonio Gates (Badass Honey Badgers) scored only 3.1 points while Justin Blackmon had only 5.8 points for Tucks Gong Shows.

Notables: Tucks Gong Shows had 4 players score 20 or more points, and another 4 score 6 or fewer. Badass Honey Badgers left Matt Ryan’s 21.72 points on the bench.


3 Stig-o-sauruseseses (Stigosaurus) 88.30 vs 5 Now I’m Done (StuckInPa) 82.64

Summary: Now I’m Done’s comeback attempt falls short against Stig-o-sauruseseses despite strong performances from Peyton Manning and AJ Green.

Game High Points: Peyton Manning 26.34 (Now I’m Done)

Surprise of the Game: Jacquizz Rodgers scored 18.2 points for Stig-o-sauruseseses.

Most Disappointing Performance: There were plenty to choose from. Now I’m Done’s running backs Trent Richardson and BenJarvus Green-Ellis combined for 4.1 points. Tony Gonzalez scored only 3.0 points for Stig-o-sauruseseses.

Notables: There were some points left on the bench for both teams in this game: Heath Miller (5.7 pts) and Chris Ivory (10.2 pts) for Stig-o-sauruseseses and Le’Veon Bell (9.9 pts) for Now I’m Done.


4 Optimist Prime (The Licensed Optimist) 64.70 vs 7 TWB Gets Laid (Ted Washington’s Belly) 112.38

Summary: TWB Gets Laid crushes Optimist Prime in the biggest blowout of the week.

Game High Points: Matt Forte 28.9 (TWB Gets Laid)

Surprise of the Game: Zac Stacy had his best game of the year, scoring 14.7 points for TWB Gets Laid.

Most Disappointing Performance: DeSean Jackson (2.1 pts) and Adrian Peterson (5.6 pts) had poor games for Optimist Prime, but the most disappointing part may be Josh Freeman getting the start and scoring only 6.6 points.

Notables: There were no meaningful points left on the bench in this game. TWB Gets Laid saw Stevan Ridley score 11.3 points on his bench, but there was no where to fit him into the starting lineup without giving up a higher scoring player.


6 Kosar for President (Weeden2Gordon) 83.32 vs 9 130lbs of Kosar (Brownie’s Year) 75.50

Summary: Jamaal Charles and Ryan Mathews carry Kosar for President over Alex Smith and 130lbs of Kosar.

Game High Points: Tie: Alex Smith (130lbs of Kosar) and Ryan Mathews (Kosar for President) both scored 17.0 points.

Surprise of the Game: At the risk of being redundant, the surprise of the game has to be Ryan Mathews scoring 17.0 points for Kosar for President.

Most Disappointing Performance: CJ Spiller (0.7 pts) and Josh Gordon (2.1 pts) were underwhelming for 130lbs of Kosar.

Notables: Robert Griffin III (27.32 pts) and Andre Johnson (8.9 pts) played well from 130lbs of Kosar’s bench, while Joe Flacco (14.0 pts) outscored Tom Brady for Kosar for President.


8 Brownie the Elf (emily522) 100.42 vs 10 Weeden Cough Syrup (SpecialBrownie) 100.58

Summary: Weeden Cough Syrup defeated Brownie the Elf in a very tight game to get his third win of the season, and third in a row.

Game High Points: Andrew Luck 30.02 (Brownie the Elf)

Surprise of the Game: Calvin Johnson’s 27.5 points for Weeden Cough Syrup were very impressive, but I see Eric Decker’s 21.0 point performance for Brownie the Elf as more surprising.

Most Disappointing Performance: TY Hilton and Andre Ellington combined for only 4.0 points for Brownie the Elf. Weeden Cough Syrup failed to remove the inactive Roddy White from his lineup.

Notables: Weeden Cough Syrup got a strong 26.28 points from Mathew Stafford, but actually would have been better off with Andy Dalton (27.48 pts). DeAndre Hopkins’ 13.6 points certainly could have helped Brownie the Elf.



1 6-1 Simms’ Unsullied

2 5-2 Badass Honey Badgers

3 4-3 Stig-o-sauruseseses

4 4-3 Optimist Prime

5 3-4 Now I’m Done

6 3-4 Kosar for President

7 3-4 TWB Gets Laid

8 3-4 Brownie the Elf

9 3-4 130lbs of Kosar

10 3-4 Weeden Cough Syrup

11 3-4 Inconcievable

12 2-5 Tucks Gong Shows


Week 7 Matchups (Rank, Team, Yahoo projection*)

1 Simms’ Unsullied (93.93) vs 12 Tucks Gong Shows (89.15)

2 Badass Honey Badgers (99.19) vs 8 Brownie the Elf (40.16)

3 Stig-o-sauruseseses (68.62) vs 6 Kosar for President (72.20)

4 Optimist Prime (84.17) vs 10 Weeden Cough Syrup (103.89)

5 Now I’m Done (95.82) vs 7 TWB Gets Laid (71.56)

9 130lbs of Kosar (70.94) vs 11 Inconcievable (81.12)

*Projected points as of the writing of this page.

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