UDBNFL Week 2 Review

3 Simms’ Unsullied (Jon Stinchcomb) 98.50 vs 12 Weeden Cough Syrup (SpecialBrownie) 70.42

Summary: Aaron Rodgers helped lift Simms’ Unsullied to victory over Calvin Johnson and Weeden Cough Syrup.

Game High Points: Aaron Rodgers 34.9 (Simms’ Unsullied)

Surprise of the Game: Calvin Johnson accounted for one third of Weeden Cough Syrup’s points with his 23.6 point performance.

Most Disappointing Performance: Maurice Jones-Drew (Weeden Cough Syrup) was held to 2.8 points while Jared Cook (Simms’ Unsullied) only managed 1.0.

Notables: Simms’ Unsullied had two running backs on his bench with over 10 points, but only one of them could have helped improve his score. Weeden Cough Syrup did not leave any meaningful points on the bench.


1 Now I’m Done (StuckInPa) 114.28 vs 9 Kosar for President (Weeden2Gordon) 97.90

Summary: Jordy Nelson, Pierre Garcon, and Now I’m Done defeated Randall Cobb and Kosar for President.

Game High Points: Pierre Garcon 20.3 (Now I’m Done)

Surprise of the Game: The two Green Bay wide receivers active in this game both beat their projections with Jordy Nelson (Now I’m Done) scoring 18.6 points and Randall Cobb (Kosar for President) scoring 18.8.

Most Disappointing Performance: A. J. Green managed only 4.1 points for Now I’m Done.

Notables: There were plenty of points left on the bench in this game, starting with Michael Vick’s 33.22 for Now I’m Done. Kosar for President left Jermichael Finley (12.5 pts), Bernard Pierce (11.5 pts), and Bilal Powell (13.0 pts) on his bench.


2 Badass Honey Badgers (Aussie Brown) 135.96 vs 6 Stig-o-sauruseseses (Stigosaurus) 96.58

Summary: An explosive game from Marshawn Lynch leads Badass Honey Badgers over Stig-o-sauruseseses.

Game High Points: Marshawn Lynch 31.5 (Badass Honey Badgers)

Surprise of the Game: Stevie Johnson scored 17.1 points for Stig-o-sauruseseses while Rashard Mendenhall put up 15.4 points for Badass Honey Badgers.

Most Disappointing Performance: Tony Gonzalez scored only 3.3 points while Reggie Bush followed last week’s big game with only 6.9 points, both for Stig-o-sauruseseses.

Notables: The final score could have been even more lopsided had Badass Honey Badgers not elected to bench Philip Rivers (29.86 pts) and Mike Wallace (17.5 pts). Kendall Wright and Chris Givens both scored over 10 points from Stig-o-sauruseseses’ bench, though they couldn’t have impacted the outcome.


4 Brownie the Elf (Emily522) 94.64 vs 11 Tucks Gong Shows (TuckJob) 86.28

Summary: Julio Jones and Greg Olsen lifted Brownie the Elf to a win over Jimmy Graham and Tucks Gong Shows.

Game High Points: Julio Jones 24.2 (Brownie the Elf)

Surprise of the Game: The tight ends for both teams had strong games, including 23.9 points for Jimmy Graham (Tucks Gong Shows), but I consider Greg Olsen’s 14.4 points for Brownie the Elf to be more surprising.

Most Disappointing Performance: Tucks Gong Shows gets a pair here, with Colin Kaepernick (8.78 pts) and Anquan Boldin (0.7 pts) both being held in check by Seattle’s defense Sunday night. Ray Rice (2.5 pts) and David Wilson (1.7 pts) were equally disappointing for Brownie the Elf.

Notables: There were some pretty substantial points left on the bench in this game. Brownie the Elf left T. Y. Hilton (12.4 pts) and Tavon Austin (17.5 pts) on the bench while James Jones (15.8 pts) and Knowshon Moreno (22.7 pts) were on Tucks Gong Shows’ bench. Had both teams played their optimal lineup Tucks Gong Shows would have won by over 15 points.


5 Optimist Prime (The Licensed Optimist) 93.58 vs 7 Inconcievable (Gabe Durrant) 109.76

Summary: Seattle DEF helps to carry Inconcievable over DeSean Jackson and Optimist Prime.

Game High Points: DeSean Jackson 25.3 (Optimist Prime)

Surprise of the Game: Martellus Bennett scored 19.6 points for Optimist Prime.

Most Disappointing Performance: Mike Williams scored only 0.9 points for Optimist Prime while Brent Celek (Inconcievable) failed to score any points at all.

Notables: Optimist Prime saw Ahmad Bradshaw score 14.4 points from his bench. Inconcievable made two mistakes: carrying two steelers wide receivers and starting the wrong one. Emmanuel Sanders scored 7.8 points on the bench while Antonio Brown had only 5.7 points in the lineup.


8 130lbs of Kosar (Brownie’s Year) 72.72 vs 10 TWB Gets Laid (Ted Washington’s Belly) 71.92

Summary: TWB Gets Laid lost a tight game for the second consecutive week, falling to 130lbs of Kosar by 0.8 points after losing by 0.5 points last week.

Game High Points: Matt Schaub 21.92 (130lbs of Kosar)

Surprise of the Game: Matt Schaub is the best choice here, as well as the only player to break 20 points in this game.

Most Disappointing Performance: Too many to list. Larry Fitzgerald (3.3 pts) and Jason Witten (1.2 pts) for 130lbs of Kosar and DeMarco Murray (7.4 pts) and Stevan Ridley (4.0 pts) for TWB Gets Laid all fell well short of projections.

Notables: DeAndre Hopkins scored 17.7 points from the bench of TWB Gets Laid, more than enough to swing the outcome in his favor. Otherwise, there were very few points left on the bench in this game.



1 2-0 Now I’m Done

2 2-0 Badass Honey Badgers

3 2-0 Simms’ Unsullied

4 2-0 Brownie the Elf

5 1-1 Optimist Prime

6 1-1 Stig-o-sauruseseses

7 1-1 Inconcievable

8 1-1 130lbs of Kosar

9 0-2 Kosar for President

10 0-2 TWB Gets Laid

11 0-2 Tucks Gong Shows

12 0-2 Weeden Cough Syrup


Week 3 Matchups (Rank, Team, Yahoo projection*)

1 Now I’m Done (98.55) vs 7 Inconcievable (100.82)

2 Badass Honey Badgers (99.95) vs 3 Simms’ Unsullied (103.37)

4 Brownie the Elf (87.17) vs 6 Stig-o-sauruseseses (96.22)

5 Optimist Prime (99.63) vs 11 Tucks Gong Shows (101.66)

8 130lbs of Kosar (83.15) vs 12 Weeden Cough Syrup (93.34)

9 Kosar for President (110.76) vs 10 TWB Gets Laid (95.27)

*Projected points as of the writing of this page.

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