So, me and Dawg Nuts are going into business together, opening our own chain of restaurants from the JT's HOP franchise. We feel it is important to give our customers choice, so we have created an online menu for your viewing pleasure, so you can be ready to go when you walk in, just like good, old JT off the line. Since we offer such choice, if you have any opinions or suggestions, please leave them in the comment section as they will be reviewed and thought over. Now, to the delicious - ness!
Appetizers - So hungry, that you can't wait for your main dish? JT would say the same thing but he always waits, never false starts. Here is a list of meals to "hold you over the Line of Scrimmage" until your main course arrives.
Alex Chili Mack - Coming in from a tough day on the "sleds"? Warm yourself up while you wait with a delicious bowl of Chili Mack.
McCoy Sliders - Afraid of a little kick? Well, then try some safe sliders! Made with the fondness of Texas, but "without the tackle" of mild BBQ sauce, these should be able to hold you over till dawn. Hope you don't mind grass stains!
"Go Root For Buffalo" Wings - Are you a frequent viewer of Cleveland.com? Do you crap on everything about the Browns, yet still call yourself a fan? Try these wings and you will soon understand where your place should be in the world. In Buffalo, with a finger in your face.
*Ryan Pontbriand Risotto - A delicious rice appetizer in the name of our Pro Bowler's Alma Mater. Compliment it with the Hoagie dinner and you will have a meal of "Special" proportions.
*Grilled Ro - Bob's - These treats are filled with high expectations that never seem to be met until 2 years down the road. Through those 2 years, you honestly forget you even eat them anymore. When they do get there though, they're delicious and noticeable.
* Emergency Ward Poppers - Jalapeno poppers that pack such a wallop, you'll feel like you've taken a Helmet - to - Helmet hit after every bite. Trips to the hospital might actually occur.
* Phil's Aged Cheese and "Whine" - A delicious tray of assorted cheeses accompanied by a delightful glass of Phil's very own barrel aged "I want a new contract" wine. Sure to have you feeling ritzy.
*Grilled Vickers’ Vegetable Kebabs – These veggie kebabs are so loaded up, they almost make a meal all by themselves. But it’s actually highly recommended you use this as the perfect lead in appetizer to the McGrillis. Just be real careful when passing this dish around.
Dinners - Ah, meals fit for JT himself! These dinners are sure to have your mouth watering! Free of any enc"roach"ments, you won't have to worry about infestations! Each meal comes with a side of *McCoy's Texas Toast, JT's famous Stack of Pancakes and a helping of Watson's famous Stick - Em Syrup.
McGrillis - For a limited time only (or not at all!), you can have this beast of a burger. You receive Grilled Pork (Razorback, Hillis) with Georgia Peach BBQ sauce (Georgia, AJ Green), served open-faced on Texas Toast (Texas, McCoy). A true burger of the South.
Hodge’s Hustler’s Hoagie - Ready for a surprise? Of course, you aren't! No one was! When we created this sub, we had no clue what kind of "run" it would take us on. Looking at it will leave you feeling "shanked" but eating it will land your now blown mind inside the 20.
The Heart Shurmur - Let me give you a description. A 1/2 pound burger, topped with bacon, ham, 3 slices of cheese, and smothered in fried onions. Your heart stopped just listening to it.
Fujita's Fajita's - This fajita has been around a while, so it's no joke. With influxes from New Orleans and Kansas City, this will have your taste buds tingling. They may also tingle from a random sweaty hair from time to time.
Stuffed (Mike) Bell Peppers - A trade off that will have you debating ordering it for weeks. A meal that shows flashes of being great against weak taste buds and under performs to those more versatile.
Pork Chop Womack - A thick cut chop, not the most flashy item on the menu but okay if you’re eating on a budget. Neither good or bad, just about right.
Robaire Ribs - Ribs smothered in delicious BBQ sauce. They'll taste so good, they'll "back" you up into retirement.
Cribbs Ribbs - A smaller version of Robaire Ribs but ribs that can be eaten much more cleanly for your benefit. All bones have already been properly dislocated!
* BigBabyBack Ribs - The largest order of ribs available at JT's. While only available half the time (we only butcher a cows with a "broken leg" and such) these ribs are always fan favorites. Blocks kicks AND heartburn!
A Tub’a Fried Chicken Reuben - Who doesn't love fried chicken? Nobody! That's why for a very reasonable price, we legitimately give you "A Tub'a" chicken Reuben. Who would pass that up?
Alex Mack and Cheese - Are you one for simple tastes? A meal that everyone loves? One that can hold it's own in the trenches? Then this hard working, classic meal is for you.
"Del"icious "Homme"us - Sounds delicious till you actually get the meal, then you are severely disappointed. Don't blame me, it sounded good at the time. Regardless of how bad it is, it is still expensive. Deal with it.
Mo’s Ham A’ Mashed Potatoes - Do you have a difficult time pronouncing names? Well, then this is your meal. No matter how many times you try, you won't get it right, so just mumble a few M's and we'll get it in for you. If we throw it and another table intercepts it, you still pay for it however.
Fried Coye Fish - This meal pops on and off our menu. For now, it seems that it will stay. A fish dinner, complimented with a stench of former Raven, this meal is sure to have you excited for it's potential. Injuries to the fish may cause it to be once again discontinued, however.
The Steinbach Sauerkraut Surprise - Thin people beware. No matter how fast your metabolism is, this meal will be sure to make you fat and slow. Delicious, yes. Beneficial to blocking? No.
The "Moon"light Meal - Essentially, it’s a mash of undefinable meats, baked in equally undefinable liquids, complimented by a nonsensical rambling by the server. We have no clue where any of our ingredients came from, but don't worry, it will slowly grow on you.
* The Red Right 88 Sipe Steak - 88 oz. of aged sirloin, served rare. Seem like a lot of meat? Don’t worry, you’ll never complete it.
*Bowens “Pick - 6" Layer Lasagna - An age old recipe that is as timeless as the LB himself. Usually nothing fancy, but every once in a while our chefs throw in something that will surprise you. Gray patches may either be old ricotta or hair.
The HoHeini - Sorry, this item has been dis - continued. We understand many are un - pleased with this decision, but too bad. Deal with it.
*Vegetarians - JT's does not like you. But, due to certain legal restrictions, we are still required to serve you. So, we hope you enjoy our choice of vegetarian items.
Barton Island Salad - We only have one item for you people and it's this salad. To order this salad, you must walk out into the parking lot, find the tree island with the bulgy disc type growths on it and eat from the leaves of the tree. We will however offer you a free Montario Hard Ice Tea, so you can feel as if you're on an island... Barton Island, that is.
Deserts - After all this delicious food, how will you find room for desert? Don't worry, a JT pancake to the stomach will solve that for you.
Butterfingers Cheesecake - No matter how well our Server is at bringing you items, he will drop this cake. The sight of the cake flying to you will bring joy to your eyes, but sadly you will see it slide right through your server's hands as they try to deliver it. It will leave you with remorse and hatred. Don't worry though, it was going to be sweet and delicious.
Amoeba Baked Alaska - You have no clue what this item is. Hell, we have no clue what the item is. It looks awesome but ultimately, we have no clue what's going on in the kitchen. Sure to leave you distraught and confused.
Stuckey Buns - A cinnamony delight topped with walnuts, inspired by our favorite #3 WR. It will be sure to leave you about a yard short of full. Also, it's slippery so don't try to run with it!
St. Eclair - A failure of epic proportions. Each time you order it, you hope it will all of a sudden become a good tasting desert, but it never will. If anything, it will quickly get worse. Expect random shots to the stomach while trying to eat this trainwreck of a pastry.
Sheldon Brownies - A treat for the older consumers of our restaurant! A savory treat that, for the most part is always a sure bet to be good. Sadly though, sometimes this brownie will fall "flat on it's face." Also, it may bring pain to your shoulder area due to the overload of chocolate.
The Shurmer Sherbet - A flavor of ice cream we aren't really sure about. It could be good or bad. The original owner of the recipe said it was terrible but we feel our version will work out much better. The addition of this desert filled in the void that the discontinuation of The HoHeini created.
*Evan Moore Mousse - Prepared in a sure-grip® dish. A favorite from Brea, CA to Berea, OH. This dish is quite delicate, but very satisfying when served over the middle. A rarity to be seen being ordered, and it makes us quite confused and sad. But it is sure to leave you clamoring for Moore! ♥ A healthy choice with just 89 calories.
*Discontinued Meals of Former Browns Still Playing and Coaching-
Unfortunately, the following items are no longer served at JT’s House of Pancakes, but we like to showcase them so our loyal customers can see where we've come from during our humble beginnings.
Derek’s Apricot Anderception- A delectable meal, but sadly our severs had succumbed to “intercepting” it before it was delivered to your table, eating it themselves instead. The dish left you angry, bitter, and wishing ill upon people who once supported you. Many who ordered this meal sent emails to us, wishing their new restaurant of choice would "roll" ours.
The Quinn Quiche- A meal made with locally grown ingredients, but sadly it never quite lived up to our expectations. This menu item was discontinued when one day we swapped recipes with a chef from Denver. Upon viewing it, the chef quickly threw the recipe in the trash. The Quinn Quiche was later replaced with The McGrillis, which is an undeniably better meal.
Charlie's Fryes - We thought this platter had potential, but we were sadly mistaken. Our chefs tried to learn better frying techniques through the restaurant chain "Dilfer's Delights" but everyone there turned out to be asses who just wanted the sponsorship of JT's. The Frye recipe was later sent to a Seattle affiliate, who could not produce profit with the platter either.
Braylon's Egg Drop Soup - A soup that tasted great when owned by JT's but when a New York affiliate acquired the recipe, we soon learned the folly of our ways. The soup tasted bitter and honestly sucked, but our naivety got the better of our taste buds. It is 8:26PM EST and Braylon's Egg Drop Soup still sucks.
*Daboll’s Tofu Scramble - Totally bland and un-offensive. The shear lack of anything good will leave you pissed off. We refused to take it off the menu though because we thought it could grow into it's role. Price was
*Beverages - Need something to cool you down after taking it to the Scout team? Don't worry we have the Kool - aid to satisfy your thirst. *Gatorade dunks onto your mother are encouraged.*
McCoy’s Root Beer Float - A tribute to the way our quarterback throws many of his deep balls. If he continues this trend throughout his career, these may actually start containing beer.
Undrafted Pass Rusher Hour - JT carries only certain "drafts" that no other restaurants would dare select. These prices will be sure to have you fainting all over the place.
Haden's Cup of Joe - Made from fresh coffee beans grown in the swamps of Florida, this drink is sure to intercept your taste buds. With caffine so strong, you'll be able to return kicks with it. (If planning to return kicks, do not injest Cribbs Ribbs). This drink is so good, the more you drink, the better it becomes.
Montario's Hard Ice Tea - This item has only been ordered once since it's inception but we think it can be something special. The first batch was delayed due to problems with the recipe, but with multiple recipe rehabs, we're sure it can come back strong!
So keep in touch with our menu as it is sure to change! We hope you enjoy the choices above! Many delicious choices to consider, so we hope you decide before you come in. If you are unsure, you will be ear - holed. So, from all of us at JT's HOP, Myself and DN included, HAVE A PANCAKE ON US!
*Denotes additions to original menu.