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Mooncamping´s Oracular Spectacular

Mooncamping´s Oracular Spectacular

DT Phil Taylor.  Equivalent:  Two 2015 1st Round Draft Picks.
DT Phil Taylor. Equivalent: Two 2015 1st Round Draft Picks.
Raj Mehta-USA TODAY Sports


Mooncamping´s Oracular Spectacular

1. What will we do without Brian Hoyer?

-Sue the hospital. Someone smudged the X-Ray.

2. What will we do without Brandon Weeden?

-Have another 1st Rounder next year.

3. What will we do without Jimmy Haslam?

-This is top secret. A mysterious organization called "The Conglomerate" has bought the Browns. Okay, I see you have clearance. It is a group a spearheaded by OT Joe Thomas, and is composed of former Browns Offensive Linemen.

4. Can we have Dawg Stickers for the helmets?


5. Can we have Cheerleaders?


6. Can we have a winning season?


7. Will Joe Banner, Mike Lombardi, Rob Chudzinski and Norv Turner be fired, when we The Conglomerate takes over?

-No. The Trent Richardson debacle has made them liable to the fan base. Liable means they owe us. So, no.

8. How about Horton?

-Bengals are rivals. Steelers are adversaries. Ravens are alter egos. Two of three. Are you kidding?

9. Who can we keep on Defense?

-DE Phil Sheard, DE Barkevious Mingo, DT Billy Winn, DT Armonty Bryant, OLB L.J. Fort, OLB Tank Carder, CB Joe Haden.

10. But that´s a 4-3?

-Yeah, sorry, we´re adults and consequentialists. I always have a 3-4. But, we´re consequentialists.

11. You´re an asshole.

-10 questions max.

12. How about Offense?

-OT Garrett Gilkey, OT Dominic Alford, OG Shawn Lauvao, OG Oniel Cousins, QB Brian Hoyer, WR Josh Cooper, FB Brian Leonard, RB Chase Reynolds

13. Chase Reynolds?

-10 questions max.