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Mooncamping´s Oracular Spectacular

Mooncamping´s Oracular Spectacular

DT Phil Taylor.  Equivalent:  Two 2015 1st Round Draft Picks.
DT Phil Taylor. Equivalent: Two 2015 1st Round Draft Picks.
Raj Mehta-USA TODAY Sports

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Mooncamping´s Oracular Spectacular

1. What will we do without Brian Hoyer?

-Sue the hospital. Someone smudged the X-Ray.

2. What will we do without Brandon Weeden?

-Have another 1st Rounder next year.

3. What will we do without Jimmy Haslam?

-This is top secret. A mysterious organization called "The Conglomerate" has bought the Browns. Okay, I see you have clearance. It is a group a spearheaded by OT Joe Thomas, and is composed of former Browns Offensive Linemen.

4. Can we have Dawg Stickers for the helmets?

-No.

5. Can we have Cheerleaders?

-No.

6. Can we have a winning season?

-Yes.

7. Will Joe Banner, Mike Lombardi, Rob Chudzinski and Norv Turner be fired, when we The Conglomerate takes over?

-No. The Trent Richardson debacle has made them liable to the fan base. Liable means they owe us. So, no.

8. How about Horton?

-Bengals are rivals. Steelers are adversaries. Ravens are alter egos. Two of three. Are you kidding?

9. Who can we keep on Defense?

-DE Phil Sheard, DE Barkevious Mingo, DT Billy Winn, DT Armonty Bryant, OLB L.J. Fort, OLB Tank Carder, CB Joe Haden.

10. But that´s a 4-3?

-Yeah, sorry, we´re adults and consequentialists. I always have a 3-4. But, we´re consequentialists.

11. You´re an asshole.

-10 questions max.

12. How about Offense?

-OT Garrett Gilkey, OT Dominic Alford, OG Shawn Lauvao, OG Oniel Cousins, QB Brian Hoyer, WR Josh Cooper, FB Brian Leonard, RB Chase Reynolds

13. Chase Reynolds?

-10 questions max.