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Mooncamping´s Oracular Spectacular…Browns-Patriots

Mooncamping´s Oracular Spectacular…Browns-Patriots

Too bad we didn´t get Ryan Mallett to compete with Brandon Weeden in Camp for just a 2nd Rounder, huh?
Too bad we didn´t get Ryan Mallett to compete with Brandon Weeden in Camp for just a 2nd Rounder, huh?
Winslow Townson-USA TODAY Sports


Mooncamping´s Oracular Spectacular…Browns-Patriots…This week the Gypsie is joined by the Tipsie as two minds are better than one.  No Mooncamping is not a Split Personality.  But he does speak of himself in the 3rd Person sometimes.  It´s just funnier.

Mooncamping´s Oracular Spectacular!

1.  Will we win at Foxborough?

-The Gypsie:  Yes, Armonty Bryant is starting next to Phil Taylor at NG and Ahtyba Rubin at DE.  And Ishmaily Kitchen, John Hughes and Billy Winn are in retain spots, solidly second on the Depth Chart for D-line.

-The Tipsie:  No.

2.  Will the Patriots Passing Attack succeed?

-The Gypsie:  No.  They can´t fully realize TEs Rob Gronkowski, Michael Hoomanawanui and a guy named Mulligan.  Nor Julian Edelman and Danny Amendola in 1st and 2nd plus Aaron Dobson and Kenbrell Thompkins in 3rd and 4th, nor a certain Austin Collie.  Neither Tom Brady nor Ryan Mallett can defeat Horton´s Defense.

-The Tipsie:  Yes.

3.  Will the Patriots Rushing Attack succeed?

-The Gypsie:  No.  Stevan Ridley, 135 Carries for 573 Yards and 7 TDs, is not enough.  LaGarrette Blount, 94 Carries for 418 Yards and 3 TDs, is not enough.  Brandon Bolden, 54 Carries for 265 Yards and 3 TDs, is not enough.  Nor is a motivated Shane Vereen recovered from injury.  James Develin, whom they got started last week with 2 Attempts for 4 Yards and 1 TD is not at all interesting.

-The Tipsie:  Yes.

4.  Does this win mean anything to the Patriots?

-The Gypsie:  Yes, they can secure a First Week Bye, this week, rather than next week against the Dolphins.

-The Tipsie.  No, like why?

5.  Do the Patriots have an agenda on Defense?

-  The Gypsie:  Yes.  Lets help them make or break the following player identities in starting:  Rob Ninkovich, Joe Vellano, Chris Jones, Chandler Jones, Jamie Collins, Brandon Spikes, Dontae Hightower, Aquib Talib, Greg Toler, Devin McCourty and Alfonzo Dennard.  So they can fill their orders in the Draft 2014, even though they´re in the bottom tier.

-The Tipsie:  No.  All they do is win.

6.  Speaking of the Draft.  How good are their Backups?

-I don´t know.  Are:  WR Matthew Slater, WR Josh Boyce, OT Will Svitek, OG Josh Kline, C Chris Barker, TE Matthew Mulligan, DE Jake Bequette, DT Isaac Sopoaga, DE Andre Carter, LB Dane Fletcher, LB Chris White, CB Marquice Cole, CB Kyle Arrington, S Duron Harmon, S Tavon Wilson, DE Michael Buchanan, DT Siliga Sealver, LB Stever Beauharnais, CB Ryan Logan and S Nate Ebner…world famous?

-Tipsie:  They´re actually awesome.  They won´t exchange any of them ever.

7.  How about us?

-Gypsie:  It will be a glorious day to remember playing against our former Head Coach Bill Belichick in Foxborough, Massachusetts.  And we actually have a chance, as we lead the series 13-9, including Post Season!  Besides, we already beat them last year, when we last met.  34-14, November 7th in Cleveland.

-Tipsie:  Gypsie, you´re a Moron!  We´ll come out by the skin of our teeth.

8.  What if we could fill our Draft Orders?

-Gypsie:  That sounds great.  Lets see.  We´ll keep Armonty Bryant, Ishmaily Kitchen, Billy Winn, Jabaal Sheard, Barkevious Mingo, Tank Carder, Buster Skrine, Tashaun Gipson and Joe Haden on Defense.  And Shawn Lauvao, Garrett Gilkey, Fozzy Whittaker, Alex Tanney and Josh Cooper on Offense.  We´ll get Mucho Money and several more 1st Rounders by trading Brandon Weeden, Greg Little, Josh Gordon and Phil Taylor.  Ahtyba Rubin, John Hughes, T.J. Ward, D´Quell Jackson, Paul Kruger, Quentin Groves, Craig Robertson, the rest of our O-line and whatever else for Later Round Picks!

-Tipsie:  And then the Leprechaun Fairy cashes old people´s lost teeth.

9.  If we lose.  What do we take from this game?

-Gypsie:  Ryan Mallett, so we can package a QB Competition for another team?

-Tipsie:  Hey!  Leave the sarcasm to me!

10.  Should we win.  Will the Patriots view us as equals in the future?

-Gypsie:  Yes, I think so.

-Tipsie:  We don´t get paid to think.  So, no.  Patriots, Big Market.  Browns, Small to Mid Market.  Hazzlame rules!