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Browns Rank #1 in Pain Rankings

Breaking news: Being a Browns fan is often painful.

Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

At long last, we've found a set of offseason rankings that is completely correct.

The Browns topped's Pain Rankings, as announced yesterday in a lengthy writeup by Dan Hanzus.

As Hanzus wrote, "How could it be anybody else?"

The news does not come as a surprise to any Browns fan with a pulse, but it is notable in the way that someone outside of Northeast Ohio recognizes the suffering endured by Browns fans without poking fun at it.

While Hanzus' recap does dig up some harrowing memories for Browns fans, such as The Drive, Red Right 88, The Move, etc., there is some cool content. For example, Hanzus spoke to local comedian Mike Polk Jr. (famous for his 'Factory of Sadness' video) about his Browns fandom.

One of my favorite parts of the article is this quote from Polk, as I'm sure it will resonate with many readers:

"People still want me to get furious and stuff, too, which is funny because they'll be like, "Come on, why aren't you mad?" I'm like, "I just don't have it in me. And it's not that I don't care about the team and it's not that I don't want to win. It's certainly not that I've developed better priorities because it's not like something else took the place of that, like something healthy like charity work or anything. I care less and less about pretty much every aspect of life as I get older, and fortunately one of the positive byproducts of that is that I don't freak out to that degree about Browns games anymore."

If you can handle the bad memories, Hanzus does a solid job of explaining why Browns fans are so tortured. Give it a read, if you're up to it.

Either way, I'll leave you with this quip by Hanzus, which is perfect:

"A wise sage -- OK, it was Tom Petty -- once taught us that the waiting is the hardest part. To which, a grizzled denizen of the Dawg Pound might be quick to reply, "No sh--."